We usually avoid difficulty whenever we can, but I try to do something difficult every single day. Here I’ll explain the three main reasons behind why I’ve chosen this approach, and by the end, perhaps you will be inspired to do something difficult today yourself. So let’s dive in.
This circle right here is where most people are operating, this is our comfort zone. Everyone has one and we like being in it. Usually it looks something like this. Going to school or a job where we do what is required of us to get by, but not necessarily more than that. Getting quick dopamine fixes throughout the day on our phones or other devices, spending weekends hanging out with the same people we’ve always socialized with, holding on to the same beliefs we had for years and failing to consider different opinions. Basically it means taking the path of least resistance.
Life becomes a predictable routine with no real challenges and we find ourselves stagnating. And it’s easy to understand why the majority of people stay here for most of their lives. As the name implies, it’s comfortable here since we’re not pushing ourselves. At a first glance, there seems to be nothing wrong with that. Why would we voluntarily put ourselves in a position of struggle if we don’t have to? But if we only live our lives in the comfort zone, we might be unknowingly doing ourselves and injustice.
You see, while our comfort zone is indeed comfortable, it also has one big downside. People who are stuck here for too long don’t just stagnate, but they often regress backwards as well. When you’re doing the same things the same way over and over, the comfort zone itself begins to shrink. The things that you were comfortable with before are now less comfortable.
Let me give you an example. Unlike who is socially anxious and is afraid of social interaction, usually doesn’t like the idea of meeting new people. Experiencing that is outside their comfort zone. So instead, they prefer to spend their time alone or if they do socialize, it’s with people they already know well. And that’s fine.
But let’s say this person starts spending less time with their current friends and even more time alone. Slowly, their current comfort zone will become smaller.
Because they don’t confront their fear, the fear becomes even bigger. And even the idea of calling up their current friend group might become more difficult. So you can see how paradoxically giving into current comfort can lead to future discomfort. When a muscle isn’t used for a longer period of time, it atrophies and gets smaller because there is no reason for it to stay big. The same happens when we don’t challenge ourselves. We become less capable of handling the obstacles that life throws at us. And that is the first reason why I try to do something difficult every day. I don’t want to stagnate and I don’t want the things that I’m comfortable with now become uncomfortable in the future. However, when we push ourselves and do something that is a little more difficult or challenging for us, we leave the comfort zone. Then we enter the growth zone. This is where we struggle and we might feel like incompetent fools, but this is exactly where all real progress is made. And you have probably noticed this yourself.
When working out at the gym, you don’t improve if you simply live the same weight every time. When learning a new language, you’re not advancing if you only practice what you already know. To improve and see progress, you have to leave the comfort zone and increase the challenge. That might mean increasing the weights on your lifts or reading something new and trying to recall that information without help. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes, you will struggle. And yes, you will probably feel like an idiot. But doing anything worthwhile requires you to go through this because the things that have the biggest payoff always feel difficult in the moment. There is no improvement without challenge. Remember that. Of course, the comfort zone isn’t just one single zone for everything. We have multiple zones. You might be pushing yourself in some of them, stagnating in others and even deteriorating in some.
For example, you could be regressing backwards with your social skills, stagnating with your work, but pushing yourself to the limit at the gym. It’s up to each of us to identify which zone needs more work. And it’s completely fine to stop progressing in some areas if you’re happy with where you are.
There is no need to push yourself at everything you do. But if you’re not happy with where you are, there are a few ways to go from comfort to growth. You probably already have a certain area in mind where you’re kind of stuck and want to improve. There are three ways to go about it. The first way is by doing it more consistently. The second way is by doing it more intensely. And lastly, the third way is by doing it for longer periods of time. All three of them will increase the difficulty of whatever you want to improve on. I think they’re mostly self-explanatory, but I’ll quickly go over them using running as an example. Firstly, doing it more consistently simply means that instead of running three days a week, you try to raise it to four days. Since you’re doing it more often, it becomes more challenging.
But this also helps consolidate the behavior and makes it more likely for you to do it in the future as well. Secondly, doing it more intensely means that you do a more potent version of what you usually do.
This might mean trying something new, like running sprints or running up a hill. Basically instead of running at 60% of your capacity, you bump it to 90%. This also adds variety and actually makes the activity more fun because you’re not doing the same thing every single time. Thirdly, doing it for longer periods simply means spending more time on it whenever you decide to do it. So if you usually go for a 20 minute run, you now try to do it for 30 minutes instead.
Basically you push yourself and persevere through it just a little longer than you normally do. Simple as that. And all of this can be applied to pretty much any activity. Learning a new language, do it daily, maybe even multiple times a day if possible, increase the time you spend learning by 15 minutes, and use active recall along with space repetition to remember more. Trying to improve your social skills, consistently put yourself into environments where social situations might occur, try saying an extra sentence each time you find yourself in one, and be the one who invites people out.
All of those three methods are a good way to move from comfort towards growth. But depending on the area you’re working on, some of them are more useful. For example, if you’re trying to learn an instrument, you will find that it’s actually better to play every day for 10 minutes than it is to play once a week for one intense hour. Also you shouldn’t necessarily use all three methods at the same time, or it might be too much too fast. Instead, you want to pick one and once you’re ready expand from there. But more on that later.
Now as I mentioned, most of the gains in life come from short term discomfort. With that being said, if something is difficult, it doesn’t automatically mean it’s good. Breaking your leg might be uncomfortable, but I don’t know of any positive results that might have in the long term. The area you want to be uncomfortable in has to have some sort of a long term benefit. Studying something for example makes you feel stupid in the moment, but because you absorb new concepts, you get smarter over time. Eating healthily and resisting sugar might be difficult, but it is what allows you to get in and stay in good physical condition. Saving money instead of splurging on a new pair of shoes might be hard, but if invested properly and given enough time, it will make you wealthier.
So these types of areas are where you should actually push yourself. The ones with short term pain, but long term gain. And that is the second reason why I try to do something difficult every day. Even though it might feel uncomfortable in the moment, I know that my behavior will pay off in the future. And only by entering the growth zone and pushing myself am I able to reap those positive long term benefits.
Okay then,
so why don’t more of us leave the comfort zone if it’s clearly beneficial to do so?
Well, that’s because there’s actually a third zone. If someone were to push themselves too far out of their comfort zone, they just might pass the growth zone and go straight into the danger zone. This is why we feel uncomfortable in the first place. There is such a thing as pushing yourself too far. After all, if you exercise too much, you might suffer an injury. If you work too much, you might experience burnout. And discomfort is actually a very useful alarm preventing you from getting hurt, as such an injury would likely set you further back.
So it makes perfect sense why most people stay in their comfort zones. They want to avoid a danger zone at all costs. But unfortunately, a lot of people, when they’re looking to make a positive change in their life, go straight into the danger zone.
One of my friends is like this. A few years ago, he wanted to improve his physical health. With newfound motivation, he joined the gym and made a commitment to lift weights 5 times a week. He also vowed to start a strict diet where he would reduce his caloric intake and cut out all sugar. But within one month, he was back to routinely sitting on the couch, watching Netflix and stuffing himself with cookies. Like most people, he took on too much, too quickly. And this is a very common occurrence when trying to lift the comfort zone.
However, failing to stick to a plan isn’t even the worst part. The bigger issue people now have is that because they fail at keeping up with their high expectations, they also feed their belief that it’s entirely impossible for them to change and grow. Because of that, they don’t even bother trying to improve themselves in the future. In their mind, they’re failures who shouldn’t try again.
So what’s the solution here?
How do we make getting out of the comfort zone easier so we can operate in the growth zone, but at the same time avoid the danger zone? Positive change requires moving beyond our comfort zone, yes. However, nowhere does it say all has to be done at once.
A far more effective method is to go about it gradually in small and manageable increments. After all, if someone has been completely sedentary and wants to begin exercising, it doesn’t make sense to start doing intense weightlifting for 2 hours 5 times a week. Their odds of success are far higher if they just begin with something they’re actually capable of doing. Like having a light gym session 3 times a week for 45 minutes. And only once they’re able to maintain that, push further.
Remember, if you aren’t able to commit to a small change, how can you expect to commit to a big one? Just something to think about. Another benefit that comes from doing it gradually is that you create a positive feedback loop. Since you’re actually able to do what you set out to do, you give yourself evidence that you can indeed improve and change. And this proof of progress, even if it’s small, makes you feel really good and more confident in your abilities.
This in turn fuels persistence to push through more challenges further down the path. Basically success starts to feed on itself and you keep pushing further out of the comfort zone. Also, when you get a positive feedback loop going in one area, it tends to slowly spread to other areas. And this is the third reason why I try to do something difficult every day. Whenever I’m able to do something outside my comfort zone, even if it’s just by a little, it kickstarts this positive feedback loop. And just like falling dominoes, success fuels further success. That being said, you shouldn’t push past your comfort zone all the time.
When I say I do something difficult every day, don’t mistake this for me trying to expand in every single area on a daily basis. I might be pushing myself in one or two areas, but during that time, I return back to the comfort zone in other areas. This allows me to maintain my current zone, but also get sufficient rest and recovery. While stressed, I would probably burn out. Yes, over time, you want to grow. But you also want to give your comfort zone time to catch up to the new demands. This graph is a rough example of how I believe it should look like. First, you expand your comfort zone by doing something difficult. But you don’t keep expanding indefinitely. Instead, when it starts feeling too overwhelming, you lower the difficulty and retract only slightly above what your comfort zone was before.
This allows you to get used to the new layer and you let your comfort zone catch up to your new demands, which prevents you from burning out. Only once you’ve adapted to the new demands and you feel like you’re ready to improve again, you push past your new comfort zone. Just like before, once you feel like it’s too hard, you retract slightly above the previous point. Essentially, you’re consistently challenging yourself, but also coming back for air when it gets too difficult. And you can repeat this process until you reach the level you want to be at.
Another way to look at it is to think about the comfort zone as a place of temporary refuge, but not a permanent residence. As you can see, the point of this video isn’t to over-exert yourself until you can’t go any further. Rather, I’m trying to convince you to find a worthy challenge in hopes of bettering yourself at things you care about. Unfortunately, a lot of people give up at the first taste of failure or discomfort and they never see what they’re actually capable of. If you never push yourself to the limit, how can you know where your limit is? Only those who consistently push past their comfort zones and embrace the struggle are able to reach their true potential.
So I encourage you to do something today that you find slightly more challenging. Read a few more pages, do a few extra reps at the gym, learn some new words, try to do something difficult today and I assure you that you’ll become better than yesterday. I hope to see you in the next one as well.